Whiplash

I’ve often heard people describe the preemie journey as a roller coaster. Our last few days with Colin have been more like bungee jumping: You’re hurtling along in one direction, and just when you start to get adjusted, BAM, you’ve reached the end of the cord and are suddenly being catapulted in the other direction. And while I’m not a big fan of roller coasters, bungee jumping is at the bottom of my list of things to try.

Since my last entry on Friday morning, we were told that Colin’s lung appeared to have collapsed again and he was too sick to take off the vibrating ventilator (sending us hurtling down). A couple of hours later, after re-reviewing his chest x-rays, the doctor decided the lung wasn’t collapsed — just hazy — and the switch wouldn’t hurt anything. An hour later he was back on the regular ventilator (which made him happy, and sent us zooming back up).

Friday we also learned Colin had another gas bubble in his stomach and we have had to stop his feedings again. Later, the night doctor reviewed Colin’s evening x-rays and said it looked like his intestinal walls were thickening and he may have an infection (zoom, back down). They started him on antibiotics again, but told John we could continue the steroids.

Saturday morning, we have to stop the steroids because Colin is on the antibiotics. His stomach/intestines are looking worse in the x-rays, so still no food. He is doing okay on the ventilator, however, so we won’t have to switch him back.

By Sunday, Colin was miserable. I don’t know if it was pain from the gas bubble moving through, or from the ventilator or what, but he was crying every two or three minutes all afternoon and evening. And there was nothing we could do but sit there and hold his little hand while he squeezed with all his might. It broke my heart to see him like that — I have never felt so helpless and frustrated (reaching the bottom of the bungee cord now).

This morning, when I arrived, Colin was sleeping peacefully. No red face, no crying, no writhing in pain. Just sleeping. (BAM, bungee cord sends us shooting upward again.) His nurse told me she hadn’t even tried to change his diaper yet because he was so peaceful she didn’t want to disturb him. I didn’t want to either, so I just sat by his side and watched him sleep for an hour (then changed his diaper when he woke up).

His x-rays today are much better, so he was supposed to be able to start on milk again tonight. I’m a little nervous about starting the feeds again (although I know if we don’t keep trying we’ll never make any progress) because every time we do, he ends up with another gas bubble and in so much pain. But maybe the third time’s the charm for Colin, and he’ll be able to tolerate it this time around. I certainly hope so.

John is still at the NICU for his evening visit now, but I hope he’ll come home with good news rather than news that Colin has had another setback.

Veronica, on the other hand, has had a relatively uneventful week. She continues to have the bradys, but not as many or as long as they were last week. She is getting her feedings (now up to 45 ml every three hours) over a half hour, and the nurse yesterday decided to try getting her started on the bottle.

Veronica wasn't sure what to make of the bottle. She likes the taste of the milk, and laps it up like a kitten. But she’s more interested in licking than sucking right now. Her nurse today was in the “better to introduce the bottle later” camp, so she didn’t get a bottle today (which is fine, since we’re just starting to introduce the idea). But I’m sure we’ll be trying it again soon.

Veronica also got to see her big brother today, as he was able to make his second sibling visit. He brought both babies a card to celebrate their one-month birthdays (today) and was even able to hold Veronica (with a little assistance from Mom).